How? How do you pause to be grateful when the indignation to just brood feels better? There’s no stifling to be done here. I’d rather scream until my lungs are inside out before finding something to be grateful for at this moment. I’d rather cry long heaves of breath and spittle before disengaging this powerful urge to plant these sorrows at my feet and wail.  But….I have been here before.

I have indulged in each and every feeling that would cause me to turn a blind eye to the joys of anything. And each time, I am brought to an edge far worse from where I began. And so I ask again. How? How do I pause to be grateful when the indignation to brood feels better

Just one thing. One tiny thing, a memory, a joke, a convenience, a reason---one step in the direction opposite of the darkness where I’ve already been. This is gratitude. It doesn’t need to be grand. In fact, it doesn’t even need to be more than a word. Cookies.

Cookies was my very first word in my Pockitudes journal. Why? Because they taste good, especially with lots of chocolate chips. When I eat cookies, I feel warm, resilient and comforted. This isn’t rocket science, this is progress.