Our thoughts are fertilizer for the soil that holds us grounded to this earth. Are we nourishing ourselves with thoughts that keep us growing and feeling good, or are they thoughts that make us tired, angry or sick? Slowing down enough to pay attention to our thoughts as well as to how we feel in response to these thoughts are the keys to our own insight. We can spend countless hours dissecting how we came to think what we think, but the bigger question is, is it helping us? Is it true? Is it necessary? And of course the last is, is it kind?
If our thoughts (or beliefs or opinions) don’t fall into any of these categories, they probably don’t belong in our heads. Which thoughts make our heart and body sing? Which thoughts bring us joy and elation, connection to others, and connection to this earth? These are the thoughts that we create, re-create and rebirth with. These are the thoughts from which we receive inspiration and solutions and innovation.
For many of us, the thoughts we can't seem to control are the challenge. None of us are immune to the outer world, to the pain and suffering that occurs around us. We also hold concert to the programmed memories, beliefs and opinions within us. Most of us are dealing with some sort of trauma inflicted by circumstances outside of our control. We have become accustomed to living with negative thinking, fear, or pain, and so in response, we grip harder to try to control, deflect, numb or avoid anything that could lead to more pain and trauma. We are biological driven to protect ourselves, but controlling everything about our lives or trying to control others to make ourselves feel better will only make us feel angry and tired.
Again, like fertilizer, these thoughts fuel a very different response from joy and elation. These thoughts cause us more pain, more suffering, more anger, and often more control. We've been down this road so many times, all of us. It can make joy, gratitude, or happiness feel extremely far away. As many wise teachers have shared, we cannot heal suffering by suffering. We cannot heal connection by disconnection. And we cannot get better by perseverating on the very thoughts that make us sick and tired, angry and sad. We have to stop depending on what's happening outside of us to heal us on the inside.
Our minds are powerful tools, conditioned mercilessly by the stories we perpetuate in our heads, stories often not our own, but given to us by society, social conditioning, our upbringing, the news, the rules we were told not to break or else. We begin by questioning our own thinking and paying attention to how we feel. We have to slow ourselves down enough to hear the thoughts as they run through. We have to get off of auto-pilot and become more mindful, more aware, and we have to pay attention to the feelings we generate by the workings of our mind. We must break through the barriers to find our bliss. We have to commit to taking the time to empty our mind, meditate, breath, and pay attention.
We have to reach for the things we know that help us feel good about ourselves, and that takes work. Good fertilizer also means who we talk to, what we watch, who we hang out with. All of these things fuel our thinking and feeling. Are we taking care of ourselves? What are we eating and drinking? Everything contributes. It’s very easy to fall into old programming. And we need help.
Sometimes professional help is our only option. Sometimes finding a few friends who you trust implicitly is a great resource. Countless others are working on the same thing. It’s worth finding a mediation group online or in person. It’s worth taking a walk in the woods to feel the trees and the birds and the breeze. It’s worth trading thoughts of negativity for thoughts of gratefulness. Here, we change our energy and vibration from all the things we already know about suffering, to all the things we want to discover about healing. feeling happy and alive.
Healing is an inside job and it begins with us, our thoughts, and our feelings. And good news, we don't have to talk about our problems ad nauseum to heal. What we talk about is the solutions. What makes us feel whole, happy, connected, and free? And if happy is too far of a stretch, how do we generate peace in the easiest, most accessible and positive (and non self-destructive) way possible? Pathways are pathways and some are trenches. Some may take a long time to see over the edge, but if we think of these trenches as a place to plant a seed--a seed so ready to rebirth and sprout something new, how will we fertilize it?
Written by Misa Terral
Photo by Jamie Fenn on Unsplash