Self-care and COVID: How to shift from languishing to thriving

Three years into a global pandemic, self-care has never been more important for our mental health. 

Living through the pandemic the past two years has been a rollercoaster of emotions for just about everyone. There’s no doubt that some people have taken the brunt of the burden, like front-line and essential workers. But almost everyone you talk to has experienced or is experiencing anxiety, feelings of overwhelm and being burned out. 

For so many people, intense emotions linger as various new strains of COVID-19 appear and restrictions come and go and come back again. Coping with the aftereffects of lockdown isolation, financial stress and lack of childcare is an ongoing battle. Normal still feels far away, and many of us remain stressed, depressed, lonely, and isolated. 

If you feel like you’re going through the motions, surviving through each day, but certainly not thriving - you’re not alone. A recent New York Times article classified this feeling as “languishing” or “looking at your life through a foggy windshield.” Finding a path out of the fog looks different for everyone, but it involves creating a personalized self-care regimen.

Given the huge mental and emotional burden of living through a pandemic, it’s never been more important to practice self-care. But what exactly does that mean? Finding your version of self-care can be difficult, as can figuring out how to implement it into your everyday life. We’ve got some tips for you below. 

The Feeling of “Blah” is Pervasive. The Answer is Self-Care. 

Over the course of the pandemic, therapy waiting lists have ballooned. More people are seeking medication. Struggling to manage the stress of financial strain, lack of childcare, and too much time together, couples are arguing more. COVID-19 has essentially magnified any of the existing vulnerabilities in our interpersonal relationships or our relationship with ourselves. 

It’s clear that the psychological burden of COVID-19 has taken a toll. According to the US Census Bureau, in December 2020 more than 42% of people reported symptoms of anxiety or depression, an increase of 11% from the previous year. Even for those who consider themselves resilient, it’s difficult to maintain a positive, motivated mind space when battered by month-after-month (and year-after-year) of relentless anxiety and uncertainty.

While there’s some solace in knowing that we are collectively struggling to regain our motivation and thriving mindset, we cannot linger here any longer. It’s time to find our way out of the fog, and that begins with establishing a self-care routine. 

What does having a self-care routine mean? How do you establish one?

The idea of self-care can feel vague and elusive. The phrase is often used to describe a day at the spa, and while that can be classified as self-care it is not the definition of it and is not something that most of us can afford to repeat on a daily or weekly basis. 

Self-care can also seem like a “nice to have” instead of a “need to have.” With this mindset, reserving time to take care of yourself seems like a luxury, and is therefore placed down low on the priority list. If this is you, it’s time to reframe your mindset around self-care. We cannot expect to heal, strengthen and restore our mental health reserves if we don’t make time for whatever it is that inspires us and recharges our energy supply. 

With this in mind, start by thinking about what matters most to you. Of everything you do, what creates a sense of well-being and groundedness? Once you have a shortlist of things that bring you joy, it’s time to think about how to incorporate them into your daily or weekly routines. For example, if journaling leaves you feeling invigorated, you might start with 10 minutes a day of writing time, done routinely over breakfast or before bed. 

Some days you might not feel like doing whatever activity you have scheduled, and that’s normal. Try to at least give it a shot - get started and see how you feel once you have some momentum. Take note of how you feel before, during, and after. Knowing that you always feel better once you’ve done something on your shortlist - like going for a walk or journaling - will make it easier to get started, even when you don’t want to. 

Self-care in a Post-COVID World

There’s a lot of talk about getting back to normal, but not a lot of clarity on what that means, which can create anxiety. Waiting for “normal” can be stressful, as can having no idea what “normal” will entail. And will things ever be normal again, after all that we’ve been through?

Honor your intuition when it comes to “re-entering” society. Whether it’s social engagements, going back into the office, or going to the gym, self-care might mean knowing when to say no. You might set boundaries based on what you know you’re comfortable with, whether that’s a certain setting, like going out to a restaurant and sitting outdoors, or the number of people at an event, like going to a bar versus a garden party hosted by a friend. 

While one part of self-care is knowing what fills your cup and regularly creating time for that activity, the other is knowing where your boundaries are, and being comfortable making decisions based on them.  

Bottom line: 

Living through a global pandemic over the last two years has taken a tremendous toll on our mental health. It’s important to recognize the impact of living with uncertainty, fear, and anxiety for this long, and to be gentle with ourselves as we navigate a way out of the fog.

If you’re having trouble managing the emotions that the pandemic has brought up and exacerbated, you’re not alone. The best way to move through these feelings is to find the things that bring you joy and make time for them. Self-care is about prioritizing things that energize and refresh you, and also about knowing your boundaries and honoring them. 

It’s also important to be realistic about the healing process. The ripple effects of the pandemic will be pulsating through our society for many years to come. We will have good days and bad days as we navigate this post-COVID landscape. 

Be gentle with yourself. Remember that the definition of self-care is personal to you, but can be broadly defined as anything that you find restorative. Find those activities, and prioritize them. Having a ritual or self-care routine will help you to feel in control, to reset, and change your perspective when things get tough.

By Brittany Frater