5 Steps to Reduce Anxiety or Stress in the Moment
As our world continues to shift and the stressors of these shifts bombard our senses, methods to pay attention and take care of ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically are needed now more than ever. Below are five, simple and immediate ways to bring awareness, calm and shift our patterns when triggered by stressful and anxiety-provoking situations.
The Constant Companion and the SuperPower
I feel its presence every day, some days stronger than others. It sits with me like an old friend who doesn’t need conversation, or to fill the space with meaningless chatter. Its presence gently reminds me to remember compassion for myself and others, to never forget grace and gratitude, and to make space for embodied attention.
When Gratitude Is Hard to Find
It does happen, failure to feel grateful, I mean. There are times when our pain or anxiety is so strong, it’s easier to surrender into the downward spiral than reach out and grab hold to stay afloat. Many of us have been in the darkness before, and the familiarity can be a comfort, despite all the pain it invokes.
The Joy List
The 6 Lifelong Practices of a Human
TRUTH is a lifelong practice. Seeing ourselves as we truly are is not easy. Ego offers shades to soften and hide what is real, and what is real is that we are all broken in some way. But the brokenness isn't about shame, it's about healing. When we really see our truth and can sit with it, then we can begin to heal.
HEALING is a lifelong practice. No quick fixes. It doesn’t matter what or who ails us, or where it began, a wound is a wound, it all hurts, and it can show up anywhere at any time. And healing doesn’t mean curing. Sometimes healing means acceptance and forgiveness. Healing never stops, not as long as we are being truthful.
GRIEF is a lifelong practice. Grief is promised to us from the moment we were born. Many of us carry it and don’t even realize it. If you are sad, you are grieving, if you are angry, you are grieving, if you are numbing with alcohol, drugs, sex, tv, games, gambling, etc., you might be avoiding. Grief is alive in all of us and needs to be heard. See Healing.
FORGIVENESS is a lifelong practice. Forgiveness is part of our path to healing and freedom. I once heard a wise woman (Brené Brown) say “In order for forgiveness to happen, something else needs to die.” Expectation. Old stories that no longer serve. What we think we deserve. When we replace how we think something or someone should be, with how it actually is, knowing we can’t control it, change it, fix it, then we can begin to forgive. See Healing. Then see Love.
JUDGMENT is a lifelong practice. Judgment is poison. We learn it from our environment, the people around us, our conditioned minds, and it happens rampantly Every. Single. Day. To stop judging is a lifelong practice and it begins right now, moment to moment by paying attention to our thoughts. Stop judging our bodies, imperfections, aging. Stop judging our past or present, stop judging our children, other people who seemingly have it better or worse, stop judging our partners, parents, stop judging the person in the car next to you. No one wins when we give in to judgment. We all do it. Catch yourself, stop yourself. Judgment is a dirty band-aid for ego that never sticks. See Forgiveness. See Truth.
LOVE is a lifelong practice. We are creators, carriers and vessels of love. Authentic love is unconditional, powerful, expansive, and unending. The truth is, if we really practiced true unconditional love consistently, there would be no room for ego or judgment. But we are human, so love is a practice and a superpower requiring energetic balance. If we constantly give to others without tending to ourselves, our vessel becomes empty, tired, and resentful, and the imbalance eventually becomes harmful. If the love we need is only taken from others, if we are dependent and expectant of others to fill that void in our vessel, we become vampires, exhausting the ones around us, which is also harmful. Finding unconditional love for ourselves and ALL others is the greatest and hardest practice of all, requiring us to look again and again at how we do human.
How we look at truth, especially the painful ones, how we tend to healing our pain, or our grief, how we forgive, or manage our judgment of self and others, and how we love, are all our practices for being human. Being human is a gift, an imperfectly perfect practice not meant to be done alone. We reflect each other and can support, uplift and help one another, we just need to keep practicing. Make mistakes, but keep practicing.
Learn more about how to start your own gratitude practice in our guide.
REMEMBER
We are so imperfect, still just kids really, making mistakes which leave us scratching our heads thinking....haven’t we been here before? Somewhere along the line we were sold an idea that happiness can be measured in milestones, money, accomplishments and accolades. For authentic happiness, there is no such thing. Such things can bring entitlement, such things can bring expectation, harsh self judgement--and hence harsh judgement of others. Such things can give the illusion of control and such things can bring the word “deserve” into play.
The Beauty of Gray
What’s your favorite color? Do you ever say gray? Most people choose blue, or green, and according to this article, color choices can be influenced by age and gender, too. Funny enough, gray isn’t even referenced in that article, so there you go. For many, gray is for energy-less, lackluster days. Gray is for grief, surrounded by “meh”, blasé, gloomy, or indifference. But what if I told you gray can hold and create space for goodness and gratitude?
5 Telltale Signs of Inauthenticity
Our practice of inauthenticity began when we were children. We learned from adults, teachers, parents to behave a certain way at certain times, many times despite how we truly feel, or else be punished and shamed. In adolescence, we did what we could to fit in and find belonging. We may have even done things we were certainly not proud of. Even now, years and experiences later, we all shape-shift and deviate from our most authentic selves.
CONFESSIONS & THREE TRUTHS
Confession. I don’t exercise regularly. I can curse like a truck driver. I don’t meditate, I hate to clean and I am not an inspired cook. I order Domino’s pizza, and I eat way too much chocolate every day. The truth is, I deplore the mask of perfection. DEPLORE it. Give me the real, beautifully messy and wild, out-of-the-box, spontaneous, passionately authentic person and I’ll show you someone who lives their truth, someone who’s a breath of fresh air. A person who’s not afraid to say “please forgive me but I can’t”, “I effed up”, “I don’t know”, and “I forgot”.
Permission
You have permission. Permission to not get it right today. Permission to not be perfect. Permission to not have all the answers. Permission to grieve, for as long as you need. You have permission to accept your whole self, even the squishy, aging parts, the parts you have not forgiven, the parts you’re afraid to acknowledge or see. You have permission to do nothing for an entire day, without guilt, without feeling like you wasted time.
Remember
Why write gratitudes? Isn’t just saying thank you enough or “I’m grateful” enough?
Yes. And no. How many times have the words been so automatic it’s lost its meaning? How many times have we said “Yes I’m grateful” in our minds, but the full feeling of gratitude didn’t quite make it to our heart, body and soul. When we truly understand the benefits of gratitude, when we capture a moment as the best thing ever, right here right now, you can feel it ripple through your body and electrify your bones. Gratitude can easily become automation, perhaps even a chore, perhaps even resented.